I was honored again to be invited to speak to the Raleigh Digital Connectors about blogging tonight. Hopefully I inspired some of them to take up writing (and hopefully blogging) on a regular basis. I certainly enjoyed the opportunity to share my experience and look forward to what they create and share with the world.
Checking In
A catch-all, catch-up post
There are 1,132 posts filed in Checking In (this is page 10 of 114).
Instead of answers, more questions
Yesterday, I crafted a long blog post detailing my time as a participant in this Gulf War Illness (GWI) research study but never had a chance to post it. I was about to say it seems I have some answers to my health issues. Sadly, after talking with lead researcher Dr. Baraniuk for several hours last night (yes, several hours. Does your doctor do that?) I’ve realized that there are actually more questions than answers now.
I took a week off of work and away from home and traveled to DC at partially my own expense to be tested by an expert in GWI. Dr. Baraniuk is a brilliant man – an expert in GWI – and I was tested, but I never expected that my medical issues would stump him of all people. My joy of yesterday is well-founded: Dr. Baraniuk has detected a legitimate, abnormal response in my nervous system which makes my body work extra hard and seems to occur in GWI-affected veterans (about 30% of those who served in the Persian Gulf War). This confirmation is a wonderful validation of the way I’ve been feeling for the past 25 years.
Continue reading
If it’s Monday, this must be DC
Update 2017 Nov 11: Dr. Baraniuk’s paper has been published.
At the top of the “Exorcist” Steps in Georgetown. I climbed these steps to and from my appointment today.
I’ve been on the road for a little while. Last week I was in Seattle for a work trip, spending most of my time in a windowless datacenter. My colleagues and I did get out to visit the Museum of Flight as well as the Living Computer Museum, both which were fascinating to us geeks!
I got home Friday night to spend the weekend with my family before hopping a train north to DC. I’ll be here for the next two days participating in a DoD-funded research study on Gulf War Illness (GWI). The research study involves a bunch of repetitive vital sign measurements, some MRI time, and intense exercise tests. I got through most of the medical forms, vital sign measurements, and interview today but the real fun starts tomorrow when I pedal my ass off on a stationary bike while wearing a SCUBA breather and an EKG harness, then spend an hour cooped up in an MRI while they look at my brain. Then I do it again on Wednesday and celebrate afterward with a lumbar puncture (aka, spinal tap). Yay?
After I had a long interview with the doctor in charge of the research study, he doesn’t seem convinced that I have traditional GWI (or it’s cousin, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, CFS). He does find my symptoms curious, though, and wants to get me some answers. I don’t know what I’ll find out here, if anything, but I seem to be in the realm of experts. At least I know that my vitals are good and EKG looks “stellar,” in their words.
Being away from my family for two weeks in a row isn’t something I’ve done since my 2006 business trip to Australia, I believe. Can’t say I’m a fan of this much travel. My health is important, though, so I want to find out whatever I can so that I can keep up with my very active family.
One plus of being in DC now is that I had a great view of tonight’s Antares rocket launch which launched from Wallops Island, VA. I saw it from the grounds of the U.S. Marine Corps Memorial with the Potomac River in the foreground and excited kids and dads all around me. Made me wish my excited kids (and my wife) were here with me!
Homesick in Seattle
Baggage Carousel 10 at eattle-Tacoma (SEATAC) Airport
I’m traveling this week for business to Seattle, arriving at SEATAC airport this afternoon. As I’m walking up to the Southwest baggage carousel, I turn instinctively around to my family to joyously announce that our vacation has finally started.
Only my family’s not there. My colleagues Ken and Cameron don’t notice as my face falls and I get really quiet, looking around the room and imagining what fun I might be having there with my family. I spend the shuttle ride to the rental car place looking down at my hands as tears well up in my eyes.
What fun we’ve had here as a family. What precious memories we’ve built. What amazing adventures have begun first with a trip to the baggage carousel.
I return to my hotel room after a few hours of work, alone with my memories, laptop, and the feeling that I am blessed far beyond any man could hope to be.
Speeding point proven at 2 AM
I’d spent many evenings last week going door to door along State Street, methodically collecting signatures on a city petition to reduce the State Street speed limit to 25 MPH from its current 35 MPH. The first two days garnered the lion’s share of signatures; before I knew it I was up to ten. The last four, however, have been a challenge. Some neighbors tell me they agree 100% with reducing the speed and yet they’re very reluctant to put their name on the list. Some of these neighbors are older and some are renters who are perhaps worried any more neighborhood improvements might price them right out of the home they are renting. It’s hard to know what their real reasons are but it’s frustrating that they want it done and yet don’t want to do anything to make it happen.
Sunday afternoon I was particularly bummed when some friends I thought I could count on to sign decided against it, citing the mess that the water main replacement/traffic calming on Glascock has been. Even though I stressed it was only a new set of speed limit signs I could not convince them. I felt like chucking my clipboard into the street and giving up on the whole damn process. It would be just like five years ago, when I spent hours walking up and down State only to collect just enough signatures to barely miss the threshold.
Continue reading
Boost of civic energy
No sooner had I written my previous post that I got a boost of civic energy, this one from attending Monday night’s East CAC meeting. It had been a long while since I had been to a meeting, with my involvement in the Ligon PTA taking up much of my free time as well as other things like Friends of Dorothea Dix Park.
Monday’s meeting featured information on the purchase of Gateway Plaza, right outside of my neighborhood, so it provided a compelling reason to be there. There wasn’t much information provided but seeing many of my friends and neighbors there after such a long time was really fun. The same boost of energy I always got when conducting East CAC meetings was still there. My neighborhood inspires me! It’s good to know I can always come back.
Continue reading
Looking California, feeling Minnesota?
In a departmental meeting last week a look around the room brought on a revelation: I was the only one present who was propping his head up with his hand. I realized that I do this all the time and yet I rarely see anyone else doing it. Why is this? Isn’t anyone as tired all the time as I am?
When I was younger I always knew that age would bring with it its own aches and pains. I just didn’t realize they would hit me all at once! The past two years have seen my energy drain more rapidly than I expected or, frankly, consider normal. It’s astonishing and frightening at the same time.
I am in need of naps far more frequently than I used to be. I have challenges putting faces to names out of context. I often wake up tired from the get-go. I’ve found myself more reluctant to join in conversation. I frequently pay an unexpected price for physical efforts. Everything seems so much goddamn harder now.
I am concerned that my declining health is jeopardizing my life goals.
Continue reading
VA Pregnenolone study
For 12 weeks beginning in February, I participated in a VA-funded research study on using pregnenolone to address the effects of Gulf War Illness. Every week I would check in with a research associate, either in person or by phone, and answer a series of questions regarding my health and mental faculties. It involved driving to the Durham VA Medical Center about every other week for bloodwork and cognitive testing. I would also often return with a dose of pregnenolone for that week.
The cognitive tests were challenging and the worst part of the study. Bloodwork by comparison was a breeze, but when asked to study images of shapes and mentally rearrange them or to recall a varying, long list of fruits and vegetables I would begin to sweat. I hated those tests especially.
Continue reading
Screen printing
This summer I took a Raleigh Parks and Rec course on screen printing, taught by local Raleigh artist Keith Norval. For one night a week at Pullen Arts Center I learned how to take my designs and apply them to T-shirts and posters. Those snarky T-shirt slogans I’ve been collecting can now be applied to shirts. It is fun and easy to do! For future protests and demonstrations I will now come equipped with my own custom-made shirts.
“My best friend, he’s the king of karaoke…”
We started off our anniversary weekend by attending the birthday party of a friend of Kelly’s Saturday night. There was a karaoke machine present and, of course, I can never resist doing some singing. I did about 6 songs to rave reviews, with some people asking if I’ve done this before. It’s all very flattering but it did get me thinking if I could find a band and maybe take my singing more seriously.
Our family’s been asked if we can rejoin the Highlanders and play some gigs this fall but it appears our ever-crazier schedules won’t allow for it. Plus there’s no singing; the Highlanders play instrumentals. I enjoy being on stage and playing guitar so adding singing would be even better.
So now I’m asking myself if I have the time it takes to rehearse with a band. It might take time but it wouldn’t seem like work if I’m doing music, so maybe this will actually happen.
(Blog post title from rank Black’s song Calistan.)