December 24, 2005

There were 2 posts published on December 24, 2005 (this is page 1 of 1).

The Secret To Christmas Songs

After a month of filling my head with non-stop Christmas music, I’m an expert on the genre. As my Christmas gift to readers of MT.Net, I’m going to reveal the secrets to making your own Christmas hit. Just remember me when you cash your first phat royalty check.

What makes a great Christmas song:

  • A snippet of melody from another Christmas hit.
  • Sleigh bells. Can’t get enough of ’em.
  • Non-stop, drooling, mind-numbing repetition.

The melody that gets stolen more often than not is “Jingle Bells.” You can throw together any random notes and call it a song as long as you have the “jingle-all-the-way” melody tacked onto the end. Bruce Springsteen’s Santa Claus Is Coming To Town has it the end, though it would be a classic regardless. No one will ever record a better Santa Claus Is Coming To Town than The Boss.

James Taylor, no slacker musician, recorded Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas. It is in the classic James Taylor style: just the right amount of emotion. It’s got sleigh bells but is a little lacking in repetition. At the end, Baby James manages to tacks on a quick Jingle Bell melody, which pushes him over the top.

Some songs go even further in appropriating other songs. Brenda Lee sings an excellent Rocking Around The Christmas Tree. It’s got the sleigh bells. The song bounces along nicely and includes “deck the halls with boughs of holly” right in the chorus.

Mel Torme. I try to like him, I really do. I admire anyone who can make a decent living writing music. Naming your song The Christmas Song, though, is just too pretentious. The song itself is good enough, but it never felt completely honest to me. I can imagine Mel laboring over it for months, searching for just the right word. It seems too formulaistic to me.

The Christmas songs I like best are the ones that fit the band. Bruce’s Santa Claus Is Coming To Town becomes a Springsteen song, plain and simple. Bruce’s cover of Merry Christmas, Baby is an absolute turkey, though. It’s just him shouting “Merry Chritmas, Baby” over and over. At least it has sleigh bells and repetition going for it.

The Eagles’s original Bells Will Be Ringing is a fine example of Christmas songwriting. Its simultaneously a Christmas song and an Eagles song. Its exactly the kind of yuletide ditty you’d expect from The Eagles. No stolen melodies, sleigh bells, or repetition, though. Luckily, it doesn’t need any.

There are some artists that can’t be saved by any amount of melodies, sleigh bells, or repetition. If I hear Madonna sing Santa Baby one more time, for instance, I’ll toss my Christmas cookies. Its a song that demands subtlety. Madonna wouldn’t know subtlety if it tapped her gently on the shoulder. (I was going to say “smacked her in the head,” but that wouldn’t be subtle, would it?)

Christmas songs come in all shapes and sizes: traditional carols, standards, and cheezy pop trash. Perhaps the best thing about Christmas music is that you only hear it once a year.

Weblogs and privacy

There is debate about whether news organizations should publish URLs to weblogs of suspects and victims of this case. My take is that any information online and available publicly is fair game. Among their many other investigation tools, the media can use Internet search engines just as easily as their audience can.

I know I’ve written some stupid stuff on my own weblog. People may not approve of some of it, and that’s fine. I would rather post what I’m thinking and have an honest conversation with my readers rather than put up a front. I have opinions, some of which are not shared by many others. That’s fine by me. By being honest in my writing, I have brought others around to my way of thinking. Topics which can’t easily be discussed in weblogs and forums can be discussed with a great deal of freedom in weblogs and online forums. And sometimes one finds agreement from unexpected corners.

We are all more alike than we care to admit. Weblogs help to emphasize that point.

I also know enough not to post everything. Some things are still nobody’s business.

So thanks for reading, all fourteen of you. I hope to make your time spent here worthwhile.