The FBI, that great protector of our fatherland …er, homeland, has now put out a BOLO on people carrying almanacs. No kidding.

The FBI noted that use of almanacs or maps may be innocent, “the product of legitimate recreational or commercial activities.” But it warned that when combined with suspicious behavior — such as apparent surveillance — a person with an almanac “may point to possible terrorist planning.”

I wish I was making this up. I really do. It has the look of satire to it. Something you’d read in The Onion or something. But its true.

Of course, the world is once again laughing at us, and for good reason.

Remember on Election Day the who it was who “raised” the profile of America in the world’s eyes (hint: he’s a miserable failure).

[UPDATE:] Fark has a thread on this now. Even Farkers can’t find anything funny about this.

Two critters normally not seen around these parts were spotted here at Buckingham Palace. One was a mouse, of the dead variety, who decided to die underneath my car in the garage. The other was a black cat, seen today.

The mouse is the same critter who decided to move in with us a few weeks ago. It made its introduction in the attic above our bedroom around 11 PM at night. After that, it wandered underneath the windowsill in our den. The house cleric put out a fatwa on its life and weapons of mass destruction were then deployed. The mission appears to have been accomplished.

The cat was seen wandering through our backyard this morning. I had recently done battle with our birdseed-eating squirrels and half-expected to see a squirrel sneaking through the yard. The cat didn’t seem to want to stick around to say hello, however. It raced through a hole under the fencegate once I got close to it. A few days earlier and that cat could have feasted on fresh mouse.

Two animals normally not normally seen around here. Wonder what’s going on. Maybe the floodwaters are rising or something.