During my recent trip to Birmingham, I was talking with someone about the funny slang that doctors use to describe patients. Fark linked to just such a story today.

A patient who is “giving the O-sign” is very sick, lying with his mouth open. This is followed by the “Q-sign” — when the tongue hangs out of the mouth — when the patient becomes terminal.

General practitioners may use LOBNH (“Lights On But Nobody Home”) or the impressively bogus Oligoneuronal to mean someone who is thick.

But they also have a somewhat poetic option: “Pumpkin positive”, referring to the idea that the person’s brain is so tiny that a penlight shone into his mouth will make his empty head gleam like a Halloween pumpkin.

Here’s another story on Dr. Fox from the Beeb and one from Ananova. A horribly-formatted page of slang terms is here.

Researchers have made progress in discovering why songs get stuck in your head:

Research has helped define, but not explain, the experience. A recent study by the University of Cincinnati looked at the affliction, which the author, James Kellaris, calls earworms from the German word ohrwurm. The ear part is obvious, but the worm part isn’t incidental. Kellaris, a consumer psychologist, says it conveys the parasitic nature of the travel of songs into their listeners’ ears, only to then get lodged and played on mental continuum.

He found that some 98 per cent of listeners will at one time or another be bothered by a tune that won’t leave their heads. The study also found some common offenders, including the Kit-Kat jingle (“Gimme a break”), “Who Let the Dogs Out,” Queen’s “We Will Rock You,” the “Mission: Impossible” theme, “YMCA,” “Whoomp, There It Is,” “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” and “It’s A Small World After All.”

The study also showed that musicians and those with compulsive tendencies are the most afflicted. The two are not necessarily mutually exclusive, though the act of repetition — in popular songs on the radio and on the rehearsal floor for musicians — plays a role.

Bonus! The article quotes Neil Diamond as being a victim of this effect:

“If I wasn’t in the business of songwriting, I’d probably be seeing a doctor,” Diamond said. “I’ve tried everything from cold showers to listening to other people’s music, but nothing helps.”

I guarantee you that one of these songs listed above is already lodged in your head. If I could charge rent to song and jingle writers for every song taking up brain cells in my head, I could retire early!