Great Balls Of Fire

I was driving home from work on what I thought was a typical trip down I-40. As I approached the Highway 54 exit, I spotted a bright light in the distance, above the left edge of the road.

The light hovered in place, appearing to be a few miles distant. I thought it was simply a TV helicopter, out filming beauty shots of the traffic for the 6 o’clock news. My clock read 5:49, a bit early for news footage.

But then the light did something alarming. It began to drop quickly out of the sky. I blinked to make sure it wasn’t moving towards me and I was just seeing it wrong. But in spite of my doubt, it was doing just what I saw – dropping like a rock.

“Damn, that pilot is screwed,” I thought. I believed I was witnessing a helicopter crash, possibly one that was being transmitted live to the area’s televisions.

I blinked again. The helicopter couldn’t have lost power, since it wasn’t “autorotating” to the ground. If so, the light would surely be spinning around.

The light plummeted as I continued to drive. Then, just as suddenly as it appeared, it vanished, blinking out a few degrees above the horizon. I squinted in that direction but could not find any trace of it.

It took me a while to decide that what I saw wasn’t the usual helicopter sighting. No sane pilot would drop a helicopter that fast. And there was no trace of it afterward. Very weird. I actually spent the rest of the trip scanning the horizon for signs of smoke plumes, on the chance I really did see a helicopter crash.

Thinking about it again tonight, I decided it could have been a flare. Why someone would shoot a flare into the evening sky is beyond me, as is how it could hover in one place as long as it did before dropping.

Chalk it up to a mystery. It’s my evidence that my idea of always having a camcorder in the car may be a good one.

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Exit Signs

Why does the building code insist on putting exit signs on the ceilings in a building? If a building is on fire, won’t the smoke rise to the ceiling and obscure the sign?

I mean, even the airlines — stupid as they are — have figured this out. The exit lighting in a plane is on the floor – where the oxygen is and where any survivors smart enough to get down will see it.

On the other hand, planes don’t always remain “this end up” during a crash. Thus, its possible that the exit lighting may wind up on the ceiling after all.

Buildings rarely flip their orientation, however. So why are the signs on the ceiling?

The rules of fire safety tell you to get on the floor if you’re in a fire. If exit signs made any sense, they’d be down there, too.

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