Highlights of 2010: Gerry

Gerry Reid

This is the entry that I’ve been dreading to write because it’s anything but a highlight. Amazing how busy I can make myself with other things when there’s something I don’t want to do.

March 2010 was when my good friend Gerry Reid passed away. He was one of my closest friends, more like a brother, even. They say a good friend is one you’d be willing to hide from the cops. They say a great friend is one who wakes up in jail with you the next day and says “wasn’t that great?” That describes Gerry perfectly.

The man was so full of life. Fearless and intensely curious. He was a best listener of anyone I’ve ever met. His way of striking up conversations with random people on the street is legendary. You could talk to him about anything and he could relate and offer sage advice.

When we were all newly married youngsters, I started a tradition of regular dinner parties between our couples. Gerry and Mandy always were there. The guys also had occasional “beer nights” where we talked about just about everything. I have been blessed with many friends but none was closer than Gerry.

I was sitting in my cubicle on the afternoon of March 1st when my cellphone rang. It was our mutual friend, Bill.

“I don’t know if you heard, Mark,” he started out. “But I’ve got some bad news. Gerry was in that accident this morning on I-40.”

I was stunned. I’d heard from my coworkers of a terrible accident on the interstate that morning. It had traffic backed up for miles. Facts were slow to emerge in the news outlets, though, and it was only an hour or two previous that Gerry had been identified. I quickly pulled up WRAL’s website and felt sick when I recognized the crumpled metal under the tractor-trailer.

Then came moments when I weighed the damage in the picture to determine how serious his injuries were. There was very little information. He had been flown to Duke and was in critical condition. That’s all I knew. I left work and headed to the hospital, not knowing what I might find there.

I’ve written all about the events that followed, so I won’t bore you with that. I will say that Gerry’s sudden death shook me to the absolute core. The days following his death I spent crying and the nights I spent in sleepless, stunned silence. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so empty. It was a punch in the gut the likes I’d never felt before. I thought about him constantly. Still do.

And yet as hard as it has been to accept Gerry’s death, I know it was meant to be. I am amazed at the gift of life Gerry provided to so many strangers. And I do not pity Gerry at all, as I know he lives on in the world beyond this one.

Since that fateful day in March I have renewed my commitment to make the most of my own life. There are no guarantees. There are no do-overs. I dole out hugs and affection now like they’re doing out of style. I also don’t let stupid stuff annoy me. Well, … mostly, anyway! I’d rather not spend my life shaking my fist at something that in the larger scheme of things doesn’t matter squat. I’ve seen first hand how life is too damn short.

I’ve been meaning to write one blog post that summarizes my friendship with Gerry, and maybe I will some day. It still hurts, even almost a year later, and I guess I’m not quite ready to fully face the end of our friendship.