I was at work when Kelly called me at 10 AM. Gerry’s status hadn’t improved and had actually worsened overnight. He was no longer breathing on his own and there was absolutely no sign of brain activity. The family was talking of making final preparations, Kelly said, and if I wanted a chance to say goodbye while he was still being kept alive I needed to go immediately. I dashed off a note to my manager before rushing out the door, frantically calling up Jeff and Scott as I went.
Unlike my Monday afternoon trip to Duke Hospital, when I got lost driving around Durham, this time I took the Durham Freeway straight there. I walked up to the hallway outside his ICU to find some of his friends already there, many of them already in tears.
Within minutes the hallway was full of Gerry’s friends, to the point where we were all impeding the others in the hospital. Many hugs were exchanged, old friends were reunited, and stories of Gerry filled the air. There was no sign of the family as they were spending time alone in Gerry’s room. I got there before Kelly and followed Jacob into the room along with Jeff, Suzie, Scott, Erin, Marco, and Ann.
Gerry was lying in a darkened room, surrounded by panels showing a pulse but little else. An “apnea” warning flashed on a monitor. There were family pictures on the wall and two autographed hockey pucks in his hand, put there by his teammates. His body had swelled from his injuries and his head was no longer secured in a HALO. A large scar ran from his mouth up beyond his right ear. I thought the Duke surgeons had done a fantastic job fixing him up, if only his head and neck injuries weren’t so severe. Still I could tell that only his body was here, not his spirit.
We all became emotional upon seeing him. A few of us lingered to privately share our thoughts with him. Jacob reminded us that we couldn’t hurt him so we were free to touch him. Many of us put our hands on his.
After one group exited another group would go in. This parade went on all morning, with the crowd growing so large that we were soon shuttled into a nearby conference room. I was happy to see many friends I hadn’t seen in a long while, even though the circumstances could’ve been better. Western Wake Fire Rescue – the crew who pulled Gerry out of his car – showed up to see him and the family. It was touching.
A group of local pastors, including one who claimed to be a “king from Ghana”, came in to pray over Gerry. Hey, at that point anything was worth a try. I discovered later that Ghana is a parliamentary democracy and doesn’t recognize monarchs. I think they were sincere in their efforts, though. Gerry would’ve been so amused.
Another meeting was soon to be taking place in the conference room, and with everyone having had their chance to say goodbye to Gerry some of us began making lunch plans. A group including Scott, Erin, me, Kelly, Suzie, Bill, Janet, Joe, Ann, and Marco headed over to Parizade over on Main Street. When the waiter asked for our drink orders, someone ordered a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale (one of Gerry’s favorite beers) and soon seven of us had one! We spent our meal enjoying excellent food, beer, company, and stories of our friend Gerry. I laughed harder than I have in a long time. It was so therapeutic!
I glanced somberly at my watch at 2 PM, knowing that before we finished eating Gerry’s life would be officially over. I quietly lifted my beer in a silent toast, not wanting to spoil the happy mood that had once again come over us.
We left the restaurant and headed home, Kelly and I in the separate cars we had driven to the hospital. I picked up Travis from Paul and Laura’s house while Kelly fetched Hallie. It was at this point when we got the word that Gerry was gone, having been declared dead at 2:50 PM. I rushed to put together a fitting notification and then send it to three different sites and wound up flubbing one version.
Also during that time I received an email from a reporter at WTVD, looking to talk with people who knew Gerry. I called up Bill, Janet, Jeff, and Scott, but only Scott could make it in time. He met me at Hallie’s soccer practice where several minutes later the news team arrived. He and I both spoke about our love for Gerry and finished our interviews as the park was getting dark. The resulting story was the lead on WTVD’s 11 o’clock news and reporter Alina Machado did an excellent job with it. I teared up again when I saw it. Immediately after it ran, I got a call from Mandy, expressing thanks for our touching tribute. I was so happy that she was happy with it.
Now I’m writing all of this up and ignoring how I’m spent both physically and emotionally. Everyone else feels the same way, but as hard as it’s been at least today there is some closure. It’s time to rest a bit, pay our respects, and live life the way Gerry would want us to live.