This weekend I was driving behind a car full of young black men. Even though they were driving safely, I wondered about where they were going. Then I felt guilty about it.

Further down the road, I realized that I probably would’ve wondered about a car full of young white men, only without the guilt.

It was then that I realized that it doesn’t matter what race strangers are – I simply don’t like strangers.

I remember a sketch Eddie Murphy once did on Saturday Night Live. His character wondered what it would be like to be white, so he had himself made up to look white. His experience was a parody, of course, with shopkeepers urging him to “just take” store merchandise and other such incidents. It was good for some laughs, but the underlying question is tantalizing: what would it be like to be another race?

That’s a question that can only be answered in another lifetime.

The Bambina’s pictures are sprawled all over the Internet now. We got the first glimpse of her on Monday. I rushed the ultrasound pictures home so I could post them to family.

While K and I love looking at them, I’m sure that a lot of folks probably grimaced when they got them. I mean, some parents are so proud of their kids that they pull out dozens of pictures of them and talk incessantly about them. The Bambina’s not even born yet, and already she’s a celebrity.

Guess I’d better get a grip on things before I become of those parents who dote too much on their children. Then again, what’s really wrong with that? 🙂

I made a stupid change to my PHP server back at the beginning of the month, which caused me to not be able to post. It sucks when you discover you’re your own censor.

Well, today I get to do something I have looked forward to doing for a long time. You see, today is payday. But not just any payday – today I get to pay myself.

I have worked part-time for my company Siteseers for over 6 years now. Up until now, every penny I earned I put back into the company.

Until now. Today I become an employee of myself.

Financial freedom is here. There are degrees of freedom, so today’s step is not my salvation – just a giant step in that direction.

On the other hand, it’s ironic that it’s taken me 6 years to get a paycheck from Siteseers. When NeTraverse didn’t pay me, I was out of there in 6 hours! Funny how your perspective changes when you’re on the other side of the payroll.

I think I’ve finally figured out cat behavior. For a time now, I’ve noticed that in a house with two people, our cat would find the “psychic center” between these two people and would settle down there. By “psychic center,” I mean the center of activity. If I am doing something very interesting to my cat, and my wife is doing something uninteresting, my cat will be sitting just a little bit closer to me than to her.

Her other behavior involves making sure she knows where we are at all times. When my wife and I are in the same room, this is easy for the cat. However, when we’re in two separate parts of the house, the cat will find out where we are, follow us around that room until we seem to settle down, and only then will she return to her spot (or find out where the other person is).

It doesn’t seem to be that the cat cares about what we’re doing in particular – just that she knows where we are at all times. It’s as if she’s worried that the Cat Supervisor will come by at any instant, quiz my cat on the location the people here, and give her demerits if she fails to answer.

It’s either that, or in some sort of catlike way, our cat is trying to herd all the people in the house.

And who said that cats were solitary animals?

I’ve started consulting full-time for a local company using Linux. I’ve also updated my business website for Siteseers.

I’ll post more when I get a chance to catch my breath.

The imminent arrival of our son (daughter?) has started me thinking fatherly thoughts. In less than six month’s time, I will be face to face with my first child. How will I know how to act? I’ve never been a father before! What if I don’t have an answer when I need one? The responsibility can be terrifying if you let it. Those these questions have crossed my mind, I have always been a “fly by the seat of my pants” kind of guy. I’ll figure it out somehow.

The Fatherly Thinking Phase(tm) led to other thoughts as I was saying goodnight to my wife. Thoughts about my own childhood.

I tried to remember the last time I had been hoisted up into the arms of a parent. This kind of thing I take for granted when I do it for my neices and nephews. I pick them up and dangle them, giggling, upside down.

As a kid, the best feeling in the world was to be held by my mom or dad. And one day they put me down for what was to be the very last time. And at the time I didn’t even know it.

Moments like these go by so fast and then they’re gone forever. Then one day you find yourself playing the other role, and then remember why it was so important.

The best fatherly advice I could ever ask for is from that little kid I used to be. The one who is still longing for one last hug.

Well, today is my last day here at Major Pharmaceutical Company, Inc. I have worked here on contract for six months, maintaining it’s LDAP directory. It has been a lot like flying: hours upon hours of boredom punctuated by seconds of sheer terror. My main task during the day is staying busy.

So, even though I will miss the people I work with, I will not miss the work. Nor the commute, which ranges between 30 minutes to an hour each day on horrible I-40. I never really intended to stick around.

The department, like the company, is in a state of flux. My boss has tendered his resignation this morning. Rumor has it that he was so distraught about my leaving that he couldn’t bear to continue here, but the real reason is that another company offered him more money. And my co-worker Josef is feeling the pressure, being the likely recipient of a bigger workload once the departures sink in. I wish him success.

As for me, I’ll be consulting for my own company, Siteseers Inc.. A number of local companies have Linux servers and need my expertise in keeping them running. I look forward to the challenge.

In a weird way, today doesn’t seem like a “last day” at all.

I was dreaming of exotic locations again today, which got me thinking: I can’t possibly be the only one thinking escapist thoughts.
So, I decided the only thing that can save America is Fantasy Island.
That’s right. Fantasy Island.

Good, campy, entertainment. Big-name stars. Mystery. Breathtaking scenery. It’s like Survivor without all of the bullshit bug-eating.
Fantasy Island is the savior of couch-ridden Americans everywhere.

And don’t think that that so-called New Fantasy Island will cut it, either. If it doesn’t have Ricardo Montablan, it’s a sham!