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Airsickness

Airlines make me sick. Not flying on them, just their attitude.

Recent headlines show they’re finally getting what they deserve. U.S. Airways files for bankruptcy. Midway goes under. United threatens to file for Chapter 11. And they all hold out their hats for a federal bailout. Why?

Why should the government subsidize such an arrogant, greedy industry?

They are incredibly anti-competitive. If they “own” a hub, they jack prices up. Charlotte, home of U.S. Airways, is one of the most expensive airports as a result. If a newcomer shows up with lower fares, they collude to undercut the until they wither and die.

They agree to collectively raise fares. They play a shell game with fares, too. What other form of transportation makes one person pay four times the rate of the person next to them? Or one that can have such disparate fares, hidden in a byzantine fare system, where the cost of getting to a destination can depend on bizarre criteria?

They treat their passengers like so much cattle. Before they cram you into an overstuffed plane, you have to run a security gauntlet that is sure to humiliate you. Smile at the other passengers as the guard paws through your suitcase in front of them.

They adopt rules for their own convenience, get the FAA to rubber-stamp them and then hide behind that ubiquitous “federal regulations require” term, even though the rule was their own doing (the cellphone ban and two-carryon-limit are two that come to mind).

Service is a thing of the past. You’re lucky to get a small bag of pretzels and a bathroom break. I’ve seen some surly flight attendants that would have been fired on the spot had I been their boss.

After all this, they have the nerve to beg for a bailout from the federal government.

Here’s a clue for the airlines: Terrorism didn’t kill your business. You did it yourselves.

Thank you. Buh-bye.