I have often thought that in America we do a lousy job at bestowing adulthood upon our children. Coming of age rituals for Americans are all over the map, with no rhyme or reason. Instead, we have several milestones scattered throughout various years in a way that leaves kids wondering when they’re officially grown up.
The first big milestone is becoming able to drive. Even that varies in age from state to state but definitely by the age of 16. After one gets one’s driver’s license, there’s another two years before one gains the right to vote and be drafted into the military.
So, if one can vote and be sent off to war then one surely must be an adult, right? Not so fast, you whippersnapper. You still can’t drink alcohol legally until you’re 21! Sorry, kid!
Then for some there’s the milestone of graduating from college, or entering the military. Or perhaps getting one’s own place to live is the next big milestone. There are so many measures of adulthood that it can get downright confusing.
I’ve known a few adults who somehow missed the message that they’re now grown up. I’ve wondered what signal they might have been waiting for. It seems to me that if our society had a consistent, unmistakable standard for adulthood – a point where we say “congratulations, you’re officially on your own!” – we would be better off.
Actually the trend for driver’s licenses is to make them wait a little longer. Here in VA it is 16 and 3 months, at the earliest. I believe it is 16.5 in NJ. Personally, I think it should be 17 at a minimum. It seems like just about everybody we know with teens has had them total a car within a few months of getting a license.
And don’t forget the states that won’t let you get a license until you’re 17 or 18.