in Rant

Hertz Rips Me Off

The Hertz rental car company apparently tried to screw me out of a pile of money on my last trip to Chicago. The bastards. I should have known something was up when my credit card didn’t get billed promptly. Here’s the story.

I fly into Chicago’s Midway airport since I like to fly Southwest. The airport’s rental car facility is small and cramped at Midway and it usually takes a long time to either get a car or return one. I’ve had to wait forever at my usual rental car vendor, Dollar, so I thought I’d try Hertz this time. I dusted off my Hertz #1 Club Gold card and booked with Hertz. After all, any company who had O.J. Simpson as its spokesperson has to be good, right?

I landed at Chicago a bit ahead of schedule thanks to Southwest’s Outrageous Customer Service ™. Walking into the garage I was happy to see my name on Hertz’s rental board, pointing the way to my waiting Jeep Liberty. Into the car I went, hassle free. Less than two hours later I was in South Bend, Indiana for the next day’s meeting.

My meeting ended Friday a bit behind schedule. I raced back across the state line but got caught in unanticipated construction traffic. Even though I was late, I searched for the closest gas station near the airport. I stood freezing outside a Citgo in a questionable neighborhood while I filled up the thirsty Liberty. As usual, I made note of my gas purchase amount before racing into the rental return garage, though the receipt printer was not working.

I got there with precious few minutes to spare. There were returning cars everywhere! The lines were so long I barely inched my car past the automatic gate before I ran out of room. I waited there a few more minutes without anyone directing me anywhere (not that I could’ve gone anywhere, anyway). Knowing how close I was to missing my flight, I was about to put it in park when a garage attendant mumbled “I can’t let him park there” and waved me back to the Hertz end of the garage.

More precious minutes went by as I dodged hurried travelers and empty cars scattered in the traffic lanes. I was waved to a spot near the booth, where I collected my things and checked my watch again.

A Hertz woman noticed me but didn’t approach. She continued to show new renters their vehicle. More minutes went by. No one came to talk to me.

Screw it, I thought. Some “Gold” service here.

I gathered my things, left the key in the car, and booked inside to my flight, making it into the jetway after my name was called two times to board. Two other hapless travelers showed up behind me, out of breath as I was. The flight was full and still not loaded, so none of us stragglers delayed the plane, but it wasn’t a fun way to end the trip.

I assumed Hertz would send me a receipt, or I could pull one up on their website. I’m a Gold member, after all.

Days went by. Kelly began asking me to file my expense reports. I still hadn’t heard from Hertz.

Weeks went by. Still no charges. I put in a call to Hertz’s customer service center. After a long wait, a pleasant woman named Celeste answered. She took my call in the midst of the huge snowstorm that had kept most of her coworkers away. As it was 5 o’clock on a Friday I felt very lucky to have gotten her.

Celeste was puzzled why I didn’t have a receipt in the system. She agreed with me that it was very ususual. She asked me if I had filled it up before returning it and I told her I did. She put me on hold for a time or two before returning to tell me she was going to work on this some more. I should expect an answer by Monday or Tuesday, she said.

I was pleasantly surprised when I got a call back from her an hour later. “I found it,” she told me. I happily thanked her for the extra effort, giving Hertz customer service a gold star for exceeding my expectations. I anxiously awaited the emailed copy of the receipt she had promised me and then turned my thoughts to the approaching weekend.

It turns out the emailed receipt that was promised “in an hour” never arrived. I decided to do my expenses anyway and checked my credit card statement online tonight to see what my rental charge was.

It was a whopping $275.85, about $85 more than it should have been! What was I saying about Hertz again?!?

A look at my Hertz receipt (now online) showed a charge for $85.08 for gasoline! The fuckers had charged me for gas when I returned it with a full tank! Hertz better be glad no one was around to take my call a few minutes ago, because someone’s phone would’ve melted.

My next step was to call my credit card company and dispute the charge. That’s $85.08 that Hertz isn’t going to get from me. When they open tomorrow morning, they will get an earful that perhaps might singe someone’s phone if not melt it. Cold weather will be the last thing on the lucky bastard’s mind when he or she takes my call tomorrow.

I want whoever ripped me off to be fired, but of course the odds of that are slim. I anxiously await how Hertz handles this. I’ll be happy to show them the gas purchase from my credit card receipt if they choose to dispute this.

In the meantime, I want to let everyone know that HERTZ RIPPED ME OFF!!. A company that rips people off doesn’t deserve your business, either.

Now, let’s see them try to talk their way out of this . . .